I believe, without a doubt, that I would not have made it through these past three years without my dog, Shawnee. I also believe that I won't make it though the next one without her.Almost three Junes ago I received a phone call informing me I had made it into Kansas State's vet school, and I was ecstatic. After months of rejection and being wait listed that phone call put me on cloud nine. And it also meant one more thing: I could finally get my own dog.
My search began on petfinder.com. My dad had recently got it into his head that Chesapeake Bay Retrievers were the perfect dog for me, so this is what I searched for. Chessies are not an extremely popular breed (why, I have no idea, with my experience they're perfect) so my search had very few results within my vicinity...except Shawnee. She was only 45 minutes away, but I hesitated to even go look at her. Her profile claimed she was 3 years old, and that was older than I was wanting at the time. I instead went to the shelter she was at to look at a different dog, but upon arriving I learned that dog had been adopted so I figured I'd go ahead and see Shawnee. Might as well, I was already there. One of the best decisions of my life, in fact, I often think it was meant to be. I remember first walking up to her kennel and she got up and came to sniff my hand through the bars. One of the workers said she would bring Shawn outside so I could meet her, and so I went out to wait for her in the grass. She came out prancing, carrying her bowl in her mouth, a habit, that to this day, has not gotten old or any less enduring.
A week later I made Shawnee mine. Only $150 dollars. I would have paid anything knowing what I do now. That first car ride home, she nearly laid on top of me the whole way, looking both very worried and concerned as to what was happening. Winning Shawnee's trust took some time. Not every shelter dog comes out happy-go-lucky and constantly wagging their tail. In fact, most don't. Shawnee was no exception. Her owners gave her up while she was pregnant. She had her puppies at the shelter and they all got long adopted before she did. And to this day, I believe she was somewhat abused before I found her. She had a grave dislike for anyone she didn't know trying to pet her on top of her head. She also did not trust you to rub her belly, as most dogs would love. And being around a crowd initially made her panic and become overwhelmed. I cannot describe how much Shawnee has improved with these things since I adopted her. And I cannot tell you how much winning her trust meant to me as she now allows me to do all these and even relishes in my belly rubs for her. Even though Shawnee has been with me for almost 3 years now she still suffers from abandonment issues and insists on following me everywhere, including into the bathroom. Whenever I come home she becomes so excited that I'm back she has to bring me a "present", be it a shoe, bowl, ball, or even make up bag. If she can't find something to bring me then watch out, she will flip out and go on a terror until she does.
No matter how many times I pick up all the shoes in our living room, kitchen, and bathrooms, there is always another pile by the end of the week that Shawnee has brought down from my room. Sometimes playing the "where is my shoe?" game after already running late for school can get annoying, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. For the past 3 years she has been my constant companion, my shadow, my protector. When life gets to be too overwhelming for me she is always there to put her head on my lap, or wag her tail, or look at me with so much love in her eyes I can't help but feel better. And through these past two months when I lay in bed waiting for sleep to come and loneliness, sadness, and worry overtake me without warning sometimes, I take comfort in reaching out my hand and feeling her breathing beside me. Shawnee was meant to find me so I could heal her, if only she knew how many times over she has repaid that to me.
